i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
