Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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