yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
