names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
where are my eyebrows?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize