Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
