Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
tell me about the eggs
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