Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize