your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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