i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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