p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize