i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize