He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
