i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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