So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
