Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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