I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
