i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize