please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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