And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
