Whod you bang
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
