google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
