I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
