It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
