Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize