I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
