We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
