I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
