I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
