Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
