After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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