You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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