Got a toothbrush?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
