can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
kristin has been a bad kristin
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
