Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
