how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
