wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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