you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
