Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
