He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
