there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
