you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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