i just google imaged poop.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
