He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize