Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
