I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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