SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize