I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
