we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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