I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
false alarm, still single
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