i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
