I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
