I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
