How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
