Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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