I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
