I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
