when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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