I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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