How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You were trust falling into bushes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
