so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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