a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
